


Hesitation

by ThatwasJustaDream



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Community: 1_million_words, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 04:41:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Spring Fling on the stevedannoslash community on LJ. The prompt: After the Aloha Girls camp out, Grace says her friend Lucy wants to marry Steve. Going on from there, I want to see a story in which Grace says to Danny, "I told Lucy that you were going to marry Uncle Steve." This makes Danny wonder where Gracie got that idea, makes him look at his relationship with Steve differently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clue Delivered

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked as Danny almost rolled into the Camaro, laughing.

“Here,” he set the bag with their lunch by his own hip and handed Steve his sunglasses, still catching his breath.

Okay, the sunglasses explained why the deli clerk had stepped out of the shop and shouted for Danny to walk back his way. They didn’t give any clues as to the reason for the unusual giggle-fit, though.

Steve shot Danny a look of ‘explanation, maybe?’ as he cranked the ignition.

“We only gas up and get lunch here, what, once every few weeks? I figured the owner knows we’re working. But it is an unmarked car and, well, long story short babe he just said to me ‘your boyfriend forgot his sunglasses on the counter.’”

Steve grinned, and then they were both laughing as Steve stopped for the light and reached into the bag.

“Hey,” Danny smacked his hand and Steve shot him an exaggerated ‘ow’ face. “Wait ‘til we get to the office. I don’t need the olive oil from the sandwiches all over my car.”

“I wasn’t _going_ for the sandwich,” Steve held his hand out as the light changed. “Give me my water, please. You _do_ trust me with a bottle of water?”

“All right,” Danny handed it to him, glaring when Steve’s frown deepened. “What? What’s the matter now?”

“Could you take a second to twist the cap off? The passenger should do things like that for the driver. It’s a safety issue and a common courtesy, and it wouldn’t kill you to…”

“Damn,” Danny removed the cap. “Whine with your water?” 

They rode quietly for a couple of lights until Steve broke the silence.

“Does it bother you?” He asked between swigs. “When people make assumptions like that guy, or when they ask how long we’ve been married? Does it put you off?”

“Yes. Absolutely. It makes me very, very embarrassed and uncomfortable,” Danny rattled it off in his best mock-prim voice. “That’s why I was laughing so hard.”

He saw the contented nod that earned him, how the words made Steve’s face brighten, his big frame go microscopically more relaxed in the driver’s seat. And as much as he could still piss Danny off in a flash, his heart broke a little for him. 

For the hundredth time he opened his mouth to say something, to maybe broach the conversation that had just been offered up. Then he shut it again. 

~~~~~~

The misunderstanding at the deli left Danny’s mind for weeks, until a maniac kidnapper in the jungle nearly cost his little girl a friend and came darn close to costing him Steve, too. Danny forced himself to act pretty glib about it, but the incident left him rattled.

“You were so brave,” he pushed the box of pizza to Grace across the living room floor, the two of them cozy in their tent. It was his stroke of genius – a night of camping, as promised, but in his apartment where there were zero kidnappers, bugs, or bears.

She shrugged off his compliment and flipped open the box, pulling off a slice.

“I knew you wouldn’t let anything bad happen to us. Like I said - you can do anything.”

Danny swelled with pride at her faith and her skill folding a New York slice properly.

“So you’re not upset? Not having bad dreams about it?”

“No. My friend Amanda did. She dreamed the kidnapper tried to cook us all in a big pot of water. Like in those old cartoons you love.”

“Those are ‘Looney Tunes,’ baby, and they’re not _old_ they’re _classic_.”

“Lucy says she wants to marry Steve when she grows up,” Grace smirked up at him, between bites. “I told her good luck with that, ‘cause he’s gonna marry you.”

“Ex-squeeze me?” Danny said, grinning at the way it made her giggle. “Where’d you get that idea?”

“It can happen,” Grace’s voice turned very matter of fact. “James has two dads. And my friend Lila has two moms. It’s not even a big deal. No one cares.”

“And that’s good,” Danny said. “But you know, both parents have to be on the same page about… a lot of things. A _lot of_ …things, some of which I don’t think you should need to contemplate for a while. Like maybe eight more years if I’m lucky, please God.”

Danny looked down and caught the glance Grace was giving him. It was so full of ‘It’s okay I can be patient. You’ll figure it out,’ that it kind of sucked the air out of him.

Danny gave the whole camping thing the full court press, right down to ghost stories and an epic game of ‘I went the moon.’ Then, when Grace nodded off he stared at the ceiling, or rather at the tent, and let thoughts that had only ever vaguely raced and swooped around his brain really settle in for a landing.

“Aw, hell,” he said softly.

Never in his life had he been the last one to realize someone was in love with him. Or that the feeling might be… may be… shit, felt like it could be mutual.


	2. Exactly how I didn't mean to chase you away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny goes there and so, of course, Steve goes away.

“I figured a change of pace,” Steve stood in Danny’s doorway and tipped the plastic bags in his hand to reveal six packs of Harp and Guinness. “Black and tans?”

“Sure,” Danny trailed behind as Steve headed straight for the kitchen, picking out tall glasses and a bottle opener and beginning the delicate procedure of pouring. “It’s winter somewhere. Why not a drink you can chew? Sounds great.”

“Hey,” Steve glanced up and then back down at the glasses he was layering with beer. “Listen, Danny, no insult but we don’t hang out here a lot. Why tonight?”

“’Cause we need to discuss something. Or rather, I need to discuss something. With you. And, your house? With the ridiculously big, open spaces and the picture perfect view? We’d probably never actually get to it, so….”

Danny watched Steve digest that as he handed him a beer, worry making him frown.

“What’s wrong? Is Grace okay? Are you…”

“I’m fine, Grace is fine. Everyone is fine.”

Steve nodded, looking only about eighty percent convinced.

“So? Why not spit it out?”

“Random bursts of sheer terror, that’s all,” Danny said, walking to the living room. 

He picked up the remote and put on the basketball game, watching Steve walk his way; the thoughtlessly confident swagger, that long, solid body sliding down next to him on the couch the same way he’d done a hundred nights before. Danny was pretty sure a week ago his own eyes would have been on the screen. Now they were occupied watching Steve settle in, arms and legs flexing as he dug a hand into the sofa and toed off his shoes.

Danny knew for a fact that the sight of it wouldn’t have left him feeling this buzzing, slightly out of breath anticipation before, either. He took a long drink of his beer to try to shift his nerves down a notch, before they became too visible.

Steve was sipping his, feet flat on the floor and a look of curiosity on his face. 

The silence got ridiculous.

“C’mon, Danny, you don’t get to say something like that, then let it drop.” Steve rubbed an invisible smudge on his glass. “You’ve been … different for a while now. Quiet. Almost like you’re going out of your way to be patient with me. If nothing’s wrong, why are you walking on egg shells? What the hell could you possibly be afraid to tell ….”

Danny watched Steve’s downcast eyes as he asked, and he saw it: Realization dawning with every word that was coming out of Steve’s own mouth.

“ _Oh_ …” Steve exhaled it softly, eyes staying down, and Danny plunged in fast.

“You know how forty percent of the time we’re working? Focused? And twenty percent we’re bitching at each other? And a lot of the rest, it’s fine – in fact, it’s good. And there’s a percent of the time when I think...”

“Danny…”

“When I’ve come to realize that maybe there’s…”

“You should stop.”

“…something going on between us. If I’m wrong, tell me. Put me out of my misery, okay? ‘Cause now that it’s hit me I’ve kind of got it stuck in the brain. Directly in the lobe that controls my more sensitive external organs and also, apparently, my heart, which I thought was dead. Or dormant. But it can’t be, ‘cause it’s been doing some really yearny aching lately.”

“I didn’t think you’d ever say anything like this to me.” Steve set his glass on the coffee table. “I mean, I know you’ve had a clue that I… that… But you don’t…you’re not…so I never …”

Fuck. This was tough; watching Steve on the verge of spinning out, eyes darting as he fought and failed to arrange his thoughts.

“It’s okay,” Danny set his glass down, too. “I didn’t go there to confront you or freak you out. _Jesus_ , it baffles me sometimes how you can throw yourself directly at guns and perps and cliffs but you can’t dissect a simple emotion out loud without suffering a panic attack. ”

He took Steve’s closest hand, massaging the spot right behind his thumb as he talked. It worked; Steve calmed down and was, in point of fact, now quietly holding Danny’s hand. 

“It’s not a simple emotion.” Steve said. “Is it? Not ever. You’ve got your daughter, a family back East. Friends in Jersey who’d be thrilled to see you move home if that’s what it ever came to. I’ve got us, our team. And if I lose it… I can’t go back to being alone.”

There were times Steve’s eyes could be cool and confrontational. And then there were moments like this where every wound was right there. He looked lost, hunted, and hell, the pang that went through Danny knowing he’d put that expression there? It stung.

“Stop it,” He reached up and wrapped a hand behind Steve’s neck, thumb stroking Steve’s jaw, making his head dip and loll. “That won’t happen. One hundred percent promise; no matter how this goes, I won’t let that happen. Okay?”

The shaky sigh he got in return was full of ‘okay’ and Danny went with instinct, with his heart, and went in for a kiss.

He thought Steve might pull away, but he reached in, too, and turned a little toward him. Danny delivered a few quick, sweet pecks to the corners, then the center of Steve’s mouth, then darted his tongue over that lower lip, quickly, before there could be any objection. It made Steve relax into him and open up, and Danny took the invitation.

‘Holy hell, you’re kissing Steve,’ the part of his brain that could still think informed Danny as they slid from exploratory tastes into a sweet tongue duel. It wasn’t at all like he’d daydreamed about these past couple of weeks – it was better; strong, hypnotic and and shit, Steve felt _huge_ in his arms as they swayed. It was like a wave full of YES tugging Danny straight out to sea. 

He put a hand on the back of Steve’s head for balance as Steve gave off a broken sigh full of _sogoodsogoodso…_

That’s all it took to break the spell, apparently.

“Stop.” Steve pulled back, voice heavy. “I’m sorry, I can’t. This is a very bad …”

“Wait, look at me,” Danny watched him get up and grab his shoes, scanning the room for his keys, eyes wide and lips wet, kiss-pinked. “Don’t leave, give it a sec…”

“…a really bad idea. It’ll all go to hell. It will.”

He gave up and watched Steve scoop up his keys from the table by the door, flipping it shut behind him a little too hard.

~~~~~

Danny waited a few minutes to see if somehow, maybe, Steve might come back. Then he poured Steve’s beer down the kitchen sink and drank his own while standing under an extra hot shower.

The comforts of bed and soft sheets felt like heaven after the stress of the day – planning the discussion, thinking it through, saying the words and watching them land. Danny was lying there staring at his watch on the nightstand when his phone jumped right next to it.

“You’re still freaking out, aren’t you?” Danny didn’t bother with preliminaries.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said. “Tell me I haven’t screwed everything up forever.”

“What, you mean like maybe I’ll stop coming over for dinner and a beer now? Not hang out with you, because you have a deep-seated fear of intimacy and zero social graces? No. You haven’t screwed everything up.”

“Can we not talk about it tomorrow?”

“I think that would be wise. Give it a few days, right? Eventually we’ll have to…”

“Yeah,” Steve said, and to Danny’s relief his voice sounded a lot calmer.

“And can I please get some respect for my first kiss with a man being not too shabby? It was good, wasn’t it? Unless I’m imagining….”

“Hell, D, yeah, it was …really good. You have a talented tongue.”

Danny snickered and heard Steve huff out a sound like ‘seriously, not kidding’.

“You okay now?” Danny paused and heard only silence. “Steven?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. Get some rest. ‘Night.”

“’Night.”


	3. Outside Forces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend drops into town, and makes a yearning Danny realize how much he's really changed. And then he just about ruins everything.

If things were less natural between them the next few days, it wasn’t so bad that anyone seemed to notice. Or so they both silently hoped. 

They wrapped up a case just in time for a very laid back Aloha Friday. Kono suggested lunch at Kamekona’s and it turned out the man himself had help staffing his truck and a bit of time on his hands, too.

“You know, McGarrett, it’s bad enough you come to my place and order only a water, eat the salad you brought with you like some kinda giant rabbit. But to sneak shrimp from the little lady’s plate lunch? That’s low.”

Steve had been stealing the very occasional shrimp when Kono wasn’t looking, was now giving Kamekona frantic ‘shut up’ and ‘cut it out’ gestures but it was too late.

“Did you seriously….” She picked up her fork and pretended to go for Steve’s hand, which led to a wrestling match over the utensil and bursts of grunts and giggles. Danny couldn’t stop watching it - Steve’s grin - couldn’t stop hearing his rare, deep, scratchy laugh.

It made Danny want to drag him to the car, drive him to his apartment and throw him on his bed -- a mental image that had been disturbingly persistent all damned week. And, the dawning reality it might never, ever happen? That was starting to really suck.

Danny turned to look out at the water, and when he looked back he caught Chin staring, a sad smile on his lips. Danny shrugged, and shook his head.

“Got plans this weekend?” Chin asked, loud enough to direct the whole table to the topic. 

“Yeah,” Danny said. “A friend from high school’s flying in for a conference and he’s coming in a few days early for it. We’ll go get some drinks, hit a club maybe. If you’re not busy you should join us for dinner, if nothing else. He has great taste and a habit of picking up the check.”

“I might. I could stand to get out of the house.” Chin said and looked over at Steve. “Want to come along? Guy’s night out?”

“This is so not my day,” Kono chimed in, sparing Steve from having to say anything. “My boss steals my food, my cousin declares it a boys-only weekend…”

“You know you’re always wanted. It can be a Beauty and the Beasts night,” Danny said.

“Nah, thanks, I was just kidding. I already have plans,” Kono said.

As she launched into her weekend itinerary, Danny dared a look at Steve and saw he was stealing glimpses over at him, too, a light blush creeping over his cheekbones. It was the first time they’d looked right at each other in days.

Danny knew they’d be talking it over soon. They had to.

~~~~~~~~~

“Your friend is… interesting.” Chin said.

“My friend is a douchebag,” Danny didn’t hesitate.

They were standing with Steve at the bar of one of the hottest restaurants on Kalakaua Avenue waiting for a table. Ten yards away, Johnny Capelli was hitting on not one, but four female tourists. Worse yet, there were indications he was using the three of them as bait if the glances in their direction were any clue.

“Last time I saw him he was married. I guess he was reining this stuff in,” Danny heard the wounded confusion in his own voice. “I mean, we all could be dogs when we were kids. But this... it's like a complete stranger.”

“Maybe you grew up and he didn’t?” Chin offered, and Danny could only nod.

“We’ll have a table soon,” Steve gave Danny’s shoulder a shake and damn, that felt good, them being comfortable again if only for a second. “We’ll eat dinner, make our excuses and call it a night. How bad can it be?”

“Good plan,” Danny said as Johnny walked back their way, hands in pockets and a sheepish grin on his face.

“Two attempts, two strikeouts,” he nodded back behind him. “I’m thinking those particular girls are maybe here with each other if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah. Couldn’t be they rejected you because you were drooling down their …” Danny started, and Chin cut him off with an gentle elbow to his ribs. 

“Sure. Bust my chops,” Johnny grinned, un-phased. “You get in the mix and see how you do….” 

“I’ll check where we are in line,” Steve headed for the kiosk where two clerks were seating people. Chin headed toward the men’s room at the same instant-- probably as much to escape the bad vibes as for the facilities.

Danny thought maybe once it was just the two of them, John would, if not apologize, at least have the wisdom to change the subject to something nice and neutral. 

“What the hell’s wrong with your friend Steve?” 

So much for optimism.

“What?” Danny stretched the word into three syllables.

“Chin? I totally get where he’s at right now. But him?” He motioned toward the check-in desk where Steve stood. “Scores of women here tonight, and he doesn’t have his eye on any of them. And he pretty much ought to be swimming in women. I mean actually doing the backstroke in a pool full of…”

“Stop.” Danny said it just loud enough to turn heads. “You need to keep your opinions a tiny bit more to yourself…”

“Shhh…” Danny heard, then felt a nudge. “He’s coming back. Jeez, don’t get so wound up. No offense intended, buddy, but seriously…”

Happily, the news Steve had was that their table was ready. Even more happily, things calmed once they kicked back by the sea with food and drinks arriving at regular intervals. John managed to ask Steve and Chin some intelligent questions about regional history, about growing up on Oahu and at some point Danny started enjoying himself.

When it didn’t last, he wasn’t the least surprised.

“G’night,” Steve waved as they walked into the parking garage. Chin had left ahead of them, and it was just the three of them departing now. “See you Monday, Danno. And John, good to meet you.”

Danny was wrapped up in watching Steve walk the ramp to the next level of the garage, wishing he could ditch this loser and follow him. So it took him a second to notice that there was no ‘good night’ given in return.

“I’m sorry, I know he’s your work partner, but…” John muttered, and Danny felt something twisting in his gut. “I still say that guy’s a little light in the loafers.”

“Oh… my… God. My time machine worked!” Danny gave him a push. “It must have worked, ‘cause I haven’t heard that phrase since about 1987. And furthermore, _that guy_ has spent the majority of his life protecting the _asses_ of asses like you…”

“C’mon, Danny…” the tone of voice suggested he was ready to back down, but it was too late.

“Morons who should be thanking him until they’re hoarse from it instead of giving him a millisecond of their worthless fucking throwback opinions.”

“Wow,” Johnny seemed genuinely confused. “I don’t know who you are, but my friend Danny and I used to walk the boardwalk and make fun of tin gods on leave at the shore. And every one of them was a whole lot like him.”

“Yeah, well you know that thing about friendships lasting for a season, a reason or for life?” Danny pulled out his keys and headed for the Camaro. “I’m thinking we were friends for a season. And it’s long past. Good night.”

He got steps away in silence, praying Johnny would leave it at that. 

“Your buddy doing _you_ , Danny boy? Is that why you’re defending him? Never dreamed you’d go fagola on us.”

It was a blur, then, how Danny went from being many steps away to knocking him on his ass. How John managed to jump immediately back up and shoot Danny a left hook that connected just south of Danny’s eye. Or, how Steve had somehow bolted back just in time to catch Danny and as he fell, to pull him away kicking and yelling and trying to dive back in to the fray.

“I think you should go.” Steve gasped it out, keeping the flailing form of Danny tight in his arms. “Before I let him loose. And then help him knock the stupid out of you.”

“Okay,” Johnny was in his car in a flash. “All right.”

Danny heaved and sputtered for seconds after the car pulled away. Steve held him through it, sinking his head down to plant a kiss deep in Danny’s neck as the moment passed and everything went silent.

“See?” Steve said into his ear. “We aren’t even together, and I ruined a friendship.”

“Don’t. You. Dare.” Danny muttered and Steve stepped back, hands going to his pockets. “Don’t use that…idiot as an excuse to push me away.”

“Maybe. But you don’t get to claim it didn’t freak you out, what he said about you. Or that you lost nothing tonight, ‘cause I know you did.”

“It pissed me off, him being a Neanderthal,” Danny said as Steve took Danny’s head in his hands, fingers pressing and prodding at the growing purple blotch creeping toward his eye, tracing along the bone to make sure it was intact.

“If that was all it was, you’d have laughed it off,” Steve said. “Like you usually do. You took a swing ‘cause you hated him thinking ….because you hate thinking of _yourself_ that way. The sad part is it’s all for nothing. I’ve been avoiding this, but… it’s not going to happen. I don’t want you, Danny. Not that way. At all.”

“Liar,” Danny breathed it, and Steve flinched. “You’re gonna stand there and lie to me?”

“You’ve got a contusion, but nothing’s broken,” Steve gave one last press to Danny’s cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Go home and get ice on it.”

“Wait,” Danny heard his whole heart in his own voice as Steve walked away, the click of his shoes on the concrete echoing all the way up the ramp.

He went home and iced his eye and drank in the shower again – a large amount of whiskey this time. And then his phone didn’t ring. No matter how much Danny stared at it, the damn thing wouldn’t fucking ring.


	4. Retreat and Advance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny thinks they'll talk it out on Monday. Until he gets to the office.

“Steve called out today,” Chin said as Danny walked in on Monday morning.

“Go on,” Danny said. It was obvious that wasn’t all.

“He said to leave him alone. All of us-- a blanket order.”

“That’s just… awesome…” 

“What in the world happened after I left?” Chin nodded toward the shiner on Danny’s face, which was turning from purple to that pleasant, mottled yellow-green color Danny had been so looking forward to.

“Nothing good. I’m paying dearly for my poor taste in friends twenty years ago.”

Danny saw a look of comprehension on Chin's face as he nodded, and found he was surprised and not at all surprised by it. It was the last straw, their friend having a clue about them, about how the dynamics of that evening might have gone badly askew. Jesus, had _everyone_ seen it but them? Danny felt the clouds closing in. He’d been counting on talking things out with Steve. He certainly hadn’t expected another day of his hopes being on hold.

“Danny,” Kono stopped him as he walked toward his office, setting a hand on his arm. “What happened to your eye?”

“Bad time Friday night. Mind asking Chin for some of the back story?” He glanced at his own door, so close, wanting nothing else but to go inside and have a moment. “It’s not that I don’t want to say, Kono, I'm just…”

“No worries,” she squeezed his arm and, mercifully, left him to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~

Monday was bad enough. But Tuesday….

“He said he might take the week. Or longer.” Chin said from behind his desk.

“No. Unacceptable,” Danny started walking little circles, a hand going unconsciously over the back of his head. “He’ll sit there... alone... talking himself into an emotional corner, telling himself he can’t rely on anyone else, blah, blah… _shit_ …”

Danny looked up, still pacing, and saw Kono with hurt for him right there in her eyes.

“Maybe you should give him some time,” she said. “You know how you two get when you’re both dug in on something. You don’t want it to blow up on you.”

“No. I can’t,” Danny looked almost relieved at the way it popped out of his mouth, the realization that he truly didn’t feel like he had a choice. “I already gave him too much time. He’s been busy mixing up a huge batch of concrete, and if I let it harden over that heart, I’ll never… _we’ll_ never...”

Danny started for the door.

“Wait,” Chin stepped out of his office. “He’s not home. When he called, I heard serious waves in the background. Only place rocking that hard is the North Shore.”

“Any more hints exactly where?”

“Maybe,” Chin picked up his phone and shot Danny a text message with a business name and a cross street off Kamehameha Highway. “Bungalows near Sunset Beach. Laid back place – mostly families, surfers. I’m pretty sure he stays there when he heads up for weekends.”

“Call me if we catch a case.” 

Danny was out the door, and just as fast he was darting his head back in. 

“Listen, it's kind of killing me. Did Steve tell you… did he say …anything at all about … us?”

“No,” Kono answered, straight-faced. “Not a word, promise.”

“Then how the hell do you know…”

“Seriously?” Chin asked. “You’re the only two on Oahu who haven’t known for a year.”

“And last week?” Kono jumped in. “The big, sad cow eyes you were throwing each other? We thought about locking you in the supply closet ‘til you worked it all out.”

"Aw hell. I was hoping.... see that's not good news, 'cause one kiss on the couch and a tiny, stupid incident in a parking garage sent him running. If he finds _this_ out? Shit, he'll be calling out sick from the International Space Station next time..."

He stopped in mid-thought, noting how Chin was biting his lip, the little grin on Kono's face. And realizing what he'd said.

"You guys made out?" Kono asked. 

"It wasn't... we didn't _make out_ , we..."

"Part of me wants a brain eraser, and..."

"Will you stop?" Danny gave her the arm wave, eye roll combo.

"Another part of me wants .... details." Kono stood her ground, smiling one eyebrow up as Danny glared, then heading his way to shove him out the door. "Go! North Shore! Now!"

Danny bolted.

“Good luck, keep us posted!” Kono shouted, then turned and looked at Chin. “God, I hope this doesn't backfire. Big time.”

“They’ll be fine.” Chin went back to his office. “Odds are.”


	5. Complete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve can run, but Danny is stubborn and stubborn wins the day.

Danny made it to the North Shore in less than forty minutes, even with traffic, and stood on the porch of the Orchid Suite at the beach bungalows. He was watching Steve stretched out on a couch, reading something on his iPad.

It was so… average. And so terrifying. Because any second Steve would put it down and see him. And Danny could be snooping on the porch when it happened or he could be…

He turned the doorknob and stepped inside, and watched Steve jump.

“ _Hell_ , D. Trying to give me a heart attack?”

There’s a moment when someone sees you and hasn’t had time to put on their brain/face filter. What you see in their eyes at that moment says everything about how they feel about you. Danny’s detective side caught it, and he knew where he stood.

“Admit that you lied to me,” Danny said.

“No, I didn’t, I…” Steve said, sitting up.

“Yeah. You did. You _pushed_ me away with a lie, so spare us both and admit it…

“I told Chin … I said to leave me alone.”

“ _Admit_ it!” Danny barked it so loudly he kind of stunned himself. 

“Okay. I lied. But I lied for a reason- to protect you. All your buddy did was call you a name and you _popped_ him. Do you have _any_ idea how much more awful it could get?”

“I forgive you.”

Steve stood up fast, was in Danny’s face in a second flat. 

“You forgive me for trying to protect you?”

“No - for rejecting me to my face for misguided reasons. For letting your inner control freak take over. And I’m sorry, too. Because you were right: I did flip out. I was pissed at every unworthy word out of his mouth about you and I wasn’t prepared. Mentally. I didn’t know how to deal with people knowing that I …”

“Danny, you don’t have to…”

“…that I want you. That I’m in love with a man. I handled it badly. But, hell… it won’t happen again, I swear, and if you send me away it’s only going to be worse between us, not better. That’s not a threat, it’s just the truth, Steve, because the thing is you might be afraid to go forward but I _can’t_ go back … I can’t. Can _you_? Really?”

Danny felt himself running out of steam with those last three words, afraid of the answer and wishing for cover. He turned to hide the emotion stinging at his eyes, and just when he was debating whether to retreat or punch the nearest wall he felt arms around him, turning him, pulling him in.

“It’s okay. Don’t. Please….” Steve held him close, and the sound of his voice, heavy and shaky, made Danny get a grip. One of them had to, or they’d both be a mess. 

“Answer the question,” Danny said, one last attempt at self-control. Then he relaxed into the embrace, distracted by the scent of Steve’s t-shirt, his skin, the strong arms around him, hands in his hair tilting his head just so, that mouth on his disengaging his brain. 

He didn’t say a thing for the longest time after that. He was happily busy being consumed by teeth and tongue and tugging fingers, forgetting his feet were even on the ground.

“C’mon,” Steve said eventually, barely a murmur, and Danny surfaced from the haze to see a warm, twisty smile, to feel his hand being squeezed as Steve led him toward the stairs.

“Up… there? Is that the … where the bedroom is? Well, it _would_ be, huh? Generally? And you’d know, _you_ rented … the ...place. It’s… you….”

“Nervous, Danny?” 

“A little. Is that bad?”

“No. It’s kind of hot. That you’re nervous. Makes me want to do all kinds of shit to you.”

“ _Jesus_ , I don’t … know… how to…”

“Relax, babe,” Steve led the way up the steps, never letting go of his hand. “It’s in my best interests to make sure you really, really like this.”

Hours later Danny woke in the dead of night to the pounding surf outside and the counterpoint of Steve’s snarfling gently by his ear. It was something between a snore and a sigh, and yet another new thing to add to the rapidly growing list of new Steve sensations. 

He lay there and remembered how much more fluid it had been than he’d feared – no self-consciousness, just them touching and rubbing and finding the perfect angle for rocking against each other. He remembered the shocked, relieved sound Steve made when Danny slid south and went down on him, the even more exquisite ones a couple of minutes later when Steve came, like it was even better than he'd been dreaming it would be for a very long time.

They still had a lot to talk about. And Danny was still a little angry somewhere deep inside that Steve tried, however feebly, to throw them away. But it was hard to stay angry when he was so loose and fulfilled, an arm heavy over him, holding him like Steve had been lost at sea and Danny was a lifeboat that showed up out of nowhere.

~~~~~~~~~~

It took time for things to calm down, before they had a chance to just be the happily bickering couple everyone had accused them of being for so long. There were bumps along the way, some of them painful, but nothing they couldn’t handle.

There were fantastic moments, too; many of them as orgasmic as that first weekend, some of them simply, peacefully happy. Danny’s favorite would always be that day, shy of a year later, when he picked up Grace for the weekend and she was so busy chattering that she didn’t notice they weren’t driving toward his apartment at all.

“Why are we….” Grace looked at him as they sat in Danny’s car in Steve’s driveway, afraid to finish the question, eyes full of hope.

“We are here,” Danny dragged it out just a beat. “Because I live here now. And on weekends, so do you.”

The laughter that poured out of her was so pure, so happily full of ‘I told you, I told you so’ that Danny would never forget it the rest of his life.

And when they stood in front of a small group of friends and family a few years later and got hitched, it was a no-brainer: Danny chose to forego the Best Man in favor of his Best Girl. Who had a clue before they did -- either of them.

She always was the most perceptive one in the family.


End file.
